Saturday, August 19, 2017

Previously on Pathfinder...

So, I have my gaming group, right? And recently we switched to *Pathfinder* which is a refined form of D&D 3.5. It's been fun so far, as we know most of the rules, even if it's been a few years since most of us have played.

Last night, we had an interesting time. Jay, who's running the game, filled us in on the details. Two kingdoms are having a war using undead. One is using traditional magic to make an undead army, while the other is using alchemy. The war has expanded out from there and is consuming everything around it. After our characters escaped jail, we joined up with a band of Orcs and others we have survived the war. After the explanation, I pointed out that we're playing "High Fantasy *Walking Dead*". There's tons of undead, not under the control of necromancers, wandering around and attacking whatever they come across. So, fun times.

We (the group) get sent on a mission to go check out a city that may or may not have fallen to one of the necromancer factions. While traveling, a thunderstorm starts to form, so we start looking for shelter. You see, the undead get agitated when storms roll around and there's more storms because the gods are pissed because of this whole "undead war" thing going on. So, it makes sense to wait indoors while the storm happens. As the rain starts to fall, we find an abandoned farm house and start poking around. Being the suspicious sort (which is how you stay alive when there's zombies and other terrible types of undead just prancing around the countryside), we look everywhere. Outside, we find a root cellar that's been barred with a shovel. I nope the fuck out. I'm not opening the door. But, we do bang on it. Inside, the other guys hear sounds coming from below. But, we're not detecting any undead. Soon, we hear a sound of something in one of the rooms, coming from under a stack of boxes. Now, I didn't sleep much before the game, so I'm done with this low-budget horror movie stuff. Plus, I'm playing a Barbarian. So, I knock over the boxes. Rats. Rats everywhere. Okay, not *everywhere*, but a half dozen nasty looking rats. We start fighting them and find out that they're acidic. Yeah... No. After the Rogue getting blinded and stunned, I toss him out of the room and bar the door. Then, we *burn the farmhouse to the ground*. Because that's how you solve problems in D&D. That, and we were done with that bullshit. Of course, that ended up forming a herd of zombies and stuff, ala *The Walking Dead*, so we made a quick exit.

As we're traveling, we come across some zombies. Since we're smart, we took some spells to keep us hidden from them. And these guys are pretty nasty looking. They have sores and ooze stuff and just don't seem like something we want to fight. Turns out that the city we're heading towards was kind of a big deal with alchemy and tanning and other stuff, so the river was horribly polluted. And it looks like whatever was in the water is now in the undead and living things. There's talk of trying to light the river on fire and burn down the city. Then shift through the ashes for loot.

After a while, we come across an over turned wagon. There's some big, burly, hairy thing digging in it. Turns out to be an owlbear. We take it down and find some minor goodies in the wagon. And the wagon itself is in good shape. So, score. We stash the wagon, as we don't have any horses, and start moving towards the city we're suppose to check out.

As we reach the city, it's deserted. Nobody home. The walls have been melted by.... Something. Not good. We enter the city and it's still empty. There's an "unusual amount of spider webs" everywhere. Yeah... That made me really suspicious. Plus, I *hate* spiders. We look around. Phoenix and myself (okay, our characters) going poking around a cobbler's shop and score some boots. There, we come across a "oddly green" spider. No bigger than normal, but weird looking. Then, it starts acting "aggressive". Nope. Nope-nope-nope. I don't want to kill it, because something tells me that there's a bigger, meaner spider out there somewhere, and I really don't want to fight an acidic spider. Thankfully, Phoenix has the brilliant idea to "daze" it. Keep in mind, this is a regular sized (size of a quarter) spider. Meanwhile, Joe and Frank hit up a cloth maker's place and grab some bolts of stuff. They see some spiders, but they run away from the guys. We meet in the middle. At this point, I'm ready to go. There is something really wrong here, probably involving spiders, so I'm nope-ing the fuck out of the situation. I get overruled, and we go looking for some horses. Because, you know, there's got to some of those alive, right? These guys aren't the brightest bulbs. After a bit of searching, we find an inn with some stables and go check them out. There's tons of cobwebs in the place... And a horse, a *full-grown, big-ass fucking HORSE* cocooned in spider webs. Like, just wrapped up in them. I literally turn around and walk out. Phoenix and Joe want to see what's inside because they cast Detect Magic and know there's a magic item under all that spider web. I say, *"Fuck that. I'm not helping you with this"* and stand outside. After a minute, I kick Frank's character into the room. Because, why not? Anyway. Phoenix starts cutting through the webbing. Little spiders start *pouring* out of it. He doesn't get the message and starts cutting more. Then, a bigger spider, maybe fist-sized, jumps out and explodes on his arm. Explodes into acid. He backs up and just burns the fuck out of this horse corpse. More fist-sized spiders jump out, but he's immune to acid, so he's good. Eventually, he burns it all and scores us a magic longbow. Then, shit gets real...
There's a rumble and a tidal wave of spiders. All different shapes and sizes, but all that wrong-looking green color. Just waves of them. On the street. On the sides of the buildings. And they're coming towards us. I think I shit my pants a little. I tell everyone that we're leaving. Now. They come out of the stables and I cue this song:

So, we're running down the streets of an empty city, I have a Halfing Rogue in one arm and a Dwarven Cleric over my shoulder, running with a Tiefling Sorcerer, while a tide of acidic, exploding spiders comes sweeping towards us. And that song is playing.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to playing D&D...

After getting away from the spiders, we realize that they left the melting marks on the side of the city walls and we just check out. We throw our loot in the wagon and push the wagon back to the horde. We talk our way out of getting kicked out, plus, you know, we did bring a wagon and some other stuff. But, it was one of those weird nights...

We'll see what happens next month...

Monday, January 23, 2017

The Tale of Phil Calhoon

Let me tell you the tale of Phil Calhoon, the greatest lumberjack the Weird West has ever seen.

When I started my most recent game of Deadlands (classic), I decided to make myself a character. Not because I wanted to make a DMPC, but because I have never been a player in the game before and one of the players was interested in doing some switching off so we could both have a chance to play the game. So, I made Phil, the lumberjack. I got some lucky draws, so I could make him as strong as I wanted. Of course, the cost was that he couldn't be as smart as... Well, anyone else. He wasn't stupid but he wasn't the brightest bulb. When it came to his skills, I made him a melee monster, but not so good with people or shooting. I also thought about what sorts of skills a lumberjack would need. So, in addition to the fighting with his ax, I gave him a lot of brawling and even a steam-powered chainsaw. I also thought that lumberjacks have to clear stumps, right? So, he knew what he was doing with a stick of dynamite. When it came to the last details, I knew I wanted him big. I mean BIG. And I didn't want him to run away if he got scared. I also made sure he was a fairly nice guy, but wasn't willing to go wandering off in the dark after hearing a strange sound. There was more I wanted to do, but I didn't have the points.

Like I said, I do like doing DMPCs. There's a lot of reasons for that. First and foremost is what happens when a bad DM does it. The DMPC ends up overshadowing the players and it sucks for them. Another reason is because the game is about the players, so they should come first. But, I wanted to have my lumberjack in the wings and I thought it might help to give these guys some back-up they could trust. While most of the posse were experienced role players, none of them had experience with the system, so I thought it would be a good idea on all fronts.

I didn't foresee what would happen. I shouldn't have been afraid.

The campaign started on a train from Denver to the City O' Gloom (better known as Salt Lake City). I mixed Phil in with a bunch of other NPCs that were on the plane, but right away, the posse started hanging out with him. As the adventure went on, I showed that Phil was a decent guy but had some skeletons in his closet. I didn't even include him in the major part of the adventure, which was about chasing after some horrible monster in the woods, because that's for the players. Once the adventure concluded, Phil had somehow become part of the posse.

The next adventure was my chance to play Phil for real. One of the other players took over and ran a brief adventure in the town of Baracho. When the posse got to the town, there was a festival going on and Phil ended up having fun. He also dislocated the shoulder of Ming, the gentle, serene, and quiet Chinese martial artist. It was an accident and it wasn't nothing some liquor and whores couldn't cure.

After they left the town, they finally arrived in Salt Lake City. Since I was running the game again, and starting the Devil's Tower trilogy, I tried to make Phil disappear. When the train pulled in, he jumped off and tried to vanish into the crowd. Which was kind of hard for a almost seven foot tall hairy man with a beer gut. But, he did it. As the posse began the adventure, I had Phil have his own little adventure. He joined a game called Skullchucker. It's bloodsport that's kind of like football. But with steampunk cyborgs and more beatings. I put Phil there because I thought it was a fun idea and fitting for him. Add it gave the posse a time to shine. Of course, when they finally tracked down the Heart of Darkness, or so they thought, they asked Phil to help out. Because the character is blessed with the best die rolls, he did a lot of heavy lifting. He almost killed a Harrowed with a single swing of his ax. Oh, and he beheaded one zombie before the party really got started. With one swing.

Once they figured out that they had to go to Lost Angels in the Great Maze (the ruined California coast), they asked Phil to tag along. While I thought it was cool that Phil had been accepted by the group, I still worried about him overshadowing the posse. The dice loved this man. I can't even explain it.

After they arrived in LA, I had Phil fade into the background again. Like the first part of the trilogy, this was also a lot of investigative work, where Phil was, let's be honest, kind of useless. Which was fine, as I didn't have to lead the posse by the nose. I let them run around but they're surprisingly good at cutting through the bullshit and ingoring red herrings. Eventually, they met a man named Old Pete who could get them into Rock Island Prison so they could rescue a man named Jasper Stone.

While the posse went through the Rock, locating the key they needed without bringing down the guards, Phil watched their way out. They then asked him to help with getting Mr. Stone. He made sure they didn't do anything stupid and get the man they were there for. On the way back into Lost Angels, the posse was told that Good Ol' Reverend Grimme was about to do something terrible. And they took Phil along for the ride.

Since it was running late and I was tired (as were we all), I just narrated the scene of Grimme and the demons in the church. The posse asked what Phil was doing and how he was holding up. He was fine. Actually, he was really in his element, using his ax to cut down demons left and right and helping innocent folks. Once the demons were defeated, the posse made their way to a warehouse, where they found Old Pete waiting for them. And then Stone turned up and tried to take the Heart of Darkness from him... Only to find out that Old Pete was ALSO Stone! Again, I narrated as Stone and Stone left with the stone and they had to fight off some walkin' dead. They were 'saved' by some of Grimme's Avenging Angels and were hailed as heroes. But, they had lost.

Then, they ran into a woman named Jackie Wells who claimed to be from the future. And they didn't even blink at that. She told them that Stone had gone back in time and was looking to cause some trouble with the Heart of Darkness. Together, the posse, Phil, and Jackie got the Heart from Stone and made their way to the Devil's Tower deep in Souix territory. To get there, they had to take what amounted to one of the world's first passenger helicopter.

Because I thought it was funny, and it made sense to me, I said that Phil was afraid of heights and tied himself to the helicopter. I thought it was just going to be for comedy, but it solidified the term we have begun to use: Phil Ex Machina.

When they got close to the Tower, I unleashed two Devil Bats on them. It was suppose to be five, but I went easy on them because the Tower, the inside, wasn't going to be easy. And I got mixed up with the numbers. There were two young Bats and five full grown ones. I found that out later, but after what happened, I decided to fudge it. You see, these two Bats almost killed our newbie's character. And would have. If it hadn't been for Phil Calhoon.

During the fight, the posse managed to kill one of the Bats without too much trouble. The other one, however, damn near killed Ming, the master of the Chinese fighting arts. Ming got snatched by one of the Bats and carried away. But, Ming was a fighter and managed to turn the winged bastard back towards the helicopter. And then he failed. And started to fall. I didn't want to kill Ming. The player was still new and I didn't want the first character to die to be his. Anyone else, I would have been okay, as they were more experienced role players. Anyone but Ming. How could I save Ming? I didn't want to fudge things too much, but did debate about having the helicopter pilot make a move to save him. But that could have made things worse. I thought for a second, and remembered that Phil was tied down to the helicopter. And he was Loyal. So, I had him make a Guts check to overcome his fear to try. He made the roll. I then had him make a Nimbleness check to grab Ming. He passed. I had Ming make the same. He passed. Then, I had Ming make a second check, this time for Strength because he had to hang on to Phil and he could slip because of sudden change in direction. And Ming failed. I was scrambling at this point. We'd come so close. And there were exclamations when Ming had failed. So, I gave him one more chance. If Phil could make the Strength check, He could keep ahold of Ming. And he made it. I didn't fudge it. Phil saved Ming, just barely.

Then, the posse made their way into the Tower. Phil did okay, but failed another roll to hold up a big grate. And then stuck with the posse while they hid from the denizens of the Tower, who they started calling “Goblins”. In fact, they were Crossbreeds. Alien/Human Crossbreeds that had once ruled the world. This was their last stronghold. I had Phil and Jackie stay mum while they hid and then when they got ready for a gun fight. Against monsters with legitimate ray guns. I told them that if they wanted to fight, they would die. I flat out told them that because I let them make their poor choices, but didn't want to kill them all. So, they surrendered.

While they waited to be executed (after suffering terrible things), they made a deal with one of the Goblins. In exchange for wrecking another Goblin's shit, they could get their gear back and go free. So, they blew some shit up and started running. Well, really Phil blew shit up because he actually had the Demolitions skill and had the foresight to bring dynamite. Before they continued, he handed out some sticks and a few bundles of that dynamite, just in case. Because, I knew what was coming, but no one in the posse did.

They made their way to a room in the Tower that had a portal to the Hunting Grounds, which is where Jackie had wanted to go with the Heart. The portal was how she had gone back in time and she needed to go back to the future. And, by god, the posse was going to help her get there. They'd come this far and they weren't going to fail. Phil was with them, but he had his own plan.

They burst into the portal chamber, guns blazing. Then, they threw dynamite. And then things got worse for everybody. Stone was there. He'd been hiding by the portal, using his Harrowed powers, and when someone started throwing around explosives, he got a little bit ticked off. So, it became a giant clusterfuck. The Goblins versus the posse vs Stone. After a good bit of fighting, most of the Goblins were down, which just left Stone. Now, Stone is big wheel in the Deadlands universe. He works directly and knowingly for the Reckoners. Also Known As the major villains and the source of all evil in this world. In short, Stone is a Very Bad Man. So, Phil decided to make Stone duck for cover and help Jackie make it through the portal. I figured that Phil would throw a stick of dynamite and it would make Stone jump back and away from the portal, so Jackie could get through the portal and we could start wrapping things up. It was getting late and one of the posse had to leave, so I really wanted to get this done.

Phil throws the dynamite. And gets a success. He's aiming right for Stone, so it would land at his feet. I figure Stone's going to be okay. He has 10d12+12 for any stat. Or, really heavy plot armor. And then I roll for Stone...

Almost nothing but 1s.

Stone, the big bad and nasty servant of the Reckoners had just gone Bust. I couldn't believe my eyes. In Deadlands, going a majority of 1s is Going Bust. Which means “worst possible outcome.” What's the worst possible outcome for dodging a stick of dynamite?

I told the posse that Phil tossed the stick of dynamite right at Stone. It sailed through the air, fuse hissing and burning as it spun. Stone looked at the stick and started to shout... Only to have the stick land right in his open mouth...

He spat it out and started to jump away, but the fuse burned down. It exploded and Stone vanished in a ball of fire.

Of course he wasn't dead. He really couldn't be, since there were now two of the ornery bastard.

So, the smoke starts to clear and the machine around the portal was wrecked. Phil shouted at Jackie to run for it and jumped up to follow her while she ran. The rest of the posse laid down covering fire against the few remaining Goblins while Jackie hauled ass to the portal. She reached it and jumped through it.

Standing there at the portal, Phil turned to the posse. He made eye contact with Dr. Penwood and gave him a quick salute and a smile.

And jumped through the portal after Jackie...

That's the story of Phil Calhoon, the greatest character I never really played. Ming's player was devestated, as Phil had just saved his ass. He didn't understand why I had Phil jump through the portal. So, I had to explain.

First of all, I had decided that Phil and Jackie had started sleeping together on the road to the Tower. They'd kept it quiet because they were afraid of what the others might say. I thought about the characters and I concluded that Jackie would have grown to like the lovable lug that was Phil. In a primitive past, full of assholes and idiots and greedy sons of bitches, there was a good and honest man. Second, Phil wasn't all that smart. But, he was honest about it. He never tried to be anything more that what he was; a man who enjoyed cigars, dimenovels, and had a spirit of adventure. And going to the future would be the greatest adventure. That's the third thing, Phil left for the future because it would be greatest adventure he could ever have. So, he did it. Fourth, Phil was Loyal. And Jackie was quite possibly the only person who could really like Phil. She wouldn't want to change him. She wouldn't want to settle down and crank out kids right away. He wanted to lover her with all his heart, because he had never met a woman quite like her. And he had the heart of a loyal little puppy dog. Lately, the posse was starting to rely far too much on Phil. And he was stealing the show with his roles. When I needed him to, he rolled high. Even when I didn't want him to, he rolled high. He would start to over shadow the posse even if I was just playing. I mean, come on, he had saved one player from certain death with one lucky roll and had almost killed a major player in the game world with another. The man was tempting fate and winning too much. And he was a melee guy. Well, we already had Ming, so did we really need another bruiser? I didn't think so. Plus, when you have a phrase based on a DMPC, it's time for him to go.

And that's the end. For now. I originally planned to play him in the adventure we're playing now. The guy who's running the game now and myself have discussed bringing Phil back. The adventure has an evil tree in it. And, god damn it, I wanted to have a lumberjack taking down an evil tree! I might still bring him back. Right now, I'm playing Phil's older sister, Noona “Cookie” Calhoon, a former Pinkerton. She's small and feisty. I like her a lot, but I'll be damned if I don't miss Phil...

We'll see what happens. Maybe Phil will come back. They do call it the Weird West, after all..

Monday, March 28, 2016

Repairing Road Kill, Part Two: Implements of Destruction

Before I get started, I thought I should mention where you can pick up official minis for the game.

Road Kill is made by West Wind Productions and their website can be found here:

Implements of Destruction:

For the second part of Repairing Road Kill, we're going to start expanding things. In this part, I'm going to add some new equipment, weapons, and vehicles. To build this list of weapons and other goodies, I've pulled from the Wargames Factory Survivor's line, as well as some other minis I own. If you have a suggestion for something to add, let me know and I'll see what I can do.

The goal of this installment is to expand the variety of gear and guns you can carry. I've tried to keep things balanced, but this is mostly just for fun.

Equipment -
NVGs -
Cost: 2
Description: This item negates the effects of Shadowy Darkness.
ENC: -

Scope -
Cost: 3 per weapon, may not be put on pistols
Description: When this weapon fires, it negates any penalty for firing at Maximum Range.

Weapons -

Rocket Launcher/RPG
Cost: 60
Damage: 15[5]
Special: Recoil, Anti-Armor, Armor Piercing Ammo, Unwieldy, Limited Ammo [2], Radius - 3”
ER: 36”
ENC: 5

Heavy Machine Gun/Minigun
Cost: 40
Damage: 8[1]
Special: Burst Fire, Recoil, Unwieldy
ER: 30”
ENC: 5

Cost: 6
Damage: STR + 2D
Special: None
ER: STR x 2”
ENC: 1

Cost: 8
Damage: 4
Special: None
ER: 14”
ENC: 1

Cost: 35
Damage: 6[2]
Special: Spray/Line, Limited Ammo [4]
ER: 6”
ENC: 2

Grenades (Thrown)
Cost: 10
Damage: 5[1]
Special: Radius 1”, Limited Ammo - 1
ENC: -

Grenade Launcher
Cost: 45
Damage: 5[1]
Special: Radius 2”
ER: 12”
ENC: 2

New Special Traits:

Recoil -
This weapon cannot be fired if the model carrying it has spent AP to move this turn. Once the weapon has fired, the model pays double AP to move.

Anti-Armor -
This weapon is designed to destroy armored vehicles, including tanks. Vehicles are struck by this weapon are at -2D for all damage checks.

Spray/Line -
When this weapon fires, draw a line to the maximum of the MR. ALL models under the line, friend or foe, roll Defense as normal. The line is stopped by Hard Cover only. If a vehicle is struck, the vehicle itself must roll Defense. If the line passes over an area that includes a door, window, or open crew/passenger compartment, all models in that area must roll Defense, at a -2D.

Limited Ammo -
Weapons with this Trait are usually rare, hard to build, or unstable. This weapon can only fire the times listed before it runs out of ammo. Once the weapon is out of ammo, it cannot fire again in the game (unless there's additional ammo placed on the board, as in some scenarios).


Vehicles -
Before I go into anymore detail, I thought it best to explain why I picked some of these. For those of you who like to find terrain and other bits for cheap, I'm sure you visit your local dollar store. A while back, my friend (and co-blogger here) Jay and I found some nifty little HMVs and Jeeps that are... “Close enough” to scale. So, if you're doing this game on the cheap (as I suggested in the Let's Review of the game), here's an easy way to get your crew some vehicles.

Jeep -

Type: Medium
Handling: 3
Body: 6
Speed: 20
Structure: 10
Special: Open, Transport 3(3), Improved Ram 2(4), Extra Speed 5(5)

Total: 22


Type: Medium
Handling: 3
Body: 6
Speed: 15
Structure: 10
Special: Transport 3(3), Reliable Construction 2(4), Armor Protection 1(4), Firing Ports 3(3)

Total: 34

New Special Traits:

Extra Speed -
1 Point per level, gives a vehicle 1” per point.

So, there we go. As you can see, I haven't finished everything, but I'll be adding to this as I progress. Next time, I'll show off some new factions I've put together and some ideas for simple characters to fill out your forces.