Dare you enter the Fortress O' Fear? Well, the Ferner Five sure
dared!
Welcome back to the
(mis)adventures and (mis)deeds of the Ferner Five, the best posse to
travel the trails of the Weird West! Alright, they might not be that
good, but they sure did have a hell of a good time.
Before we go any
further, I have to give you another huge spoiler warning. Not only
are we going to talk about the adventure itself, but also some big
things that are going on in the Deadlands setting. If you're familiar
with the settings (note the plural there), this shouldn't come as too
much of a surprise to you. The rest of you enter at your own risk,
you were warned...
Also, this is going to
be one of the longest stories I've ever posted, so I apologize in
advance for making this one entry. If you need to, wait until you've
got the time to really sit down and read it, I promise it'll be worth
it. And, yes, a lot of this is already covered in The Tale of Phil
Calhoon. So sue me.
Chapter One: The Plot
Thickens
Once again, we're going
to start with a bit of a recap but, there's going to be some new
stuff at the end of this section, so don't skip it! I know it's a
long one but it's worth it.
Our story began on a
train from Denver to the City O' Gloom, better known as Salt Lake
City. Our posse didn't know each other but had all received a letter
to come to SLC. On the way, some robbers blew up the bridge and the
posse had to fight them off. Then the real trouble started. They got
shanghaied into helping a member of the Pinkertons into tracking down
a creature known as the Husker. It got away, making her less than
pleased.
Next, the posse had a
little adventure involving a small town, a celebration and feats of
skill, and a lot of booze. And whores. Enough said on that one I
think.
When they finally
arrived, they got offered a job with Dr. Hellstrom to track down a
huge black diamond called the Heart O' Darkness. After some
investigation, and some fighting and shooting, they tracked down the
thieves, the Marshal Rex Gang, and managed to capture them. Of
course, they were too late and they got an offer to continue tracking
down the Heart to Lost Angels.
When they gone to LA,
they found that their lead, a man named Stone, had been captured by
Reverend Grimme (the man who runs the town in all but name) and sent
to Rock Island Prison. A man named Old Pete offered to help get them
to the island After some sneaking and some bashing of heads, they
freed Stone, and then fought some demons in the Church of Lost
Angels. Once that was done, they discovered that Stone and Old Pete
were one and the same! And they got away with the Heart O' Darkness.
Whew. That was some
ride, wasn't it? Well, you best hold on to your hats because we're
about to start dealing with time travel, who the Reckoners are, and
the fate of all humankind. Why did it have to be up to these men of
questionable morals...?
Okay, it wasn't just
these men. First off, one of our “guest stars,” Josephine turned
up for most of this adventure. So, if you've forgotten who she is,
wander on back to the cast of characters part of this series. I'll
wait.
I've also been
forgetting about Dieter's damn hellbeast. By that, I mean the meanest
dog you will ever have the misfortune to meet. It's large, it's
intimidating, and it just doesn't like people. Except Dieter. At one
point, I mentioned that the that the dog had wandered away and when
it came back, Dieter's player said it had a severed hand in its
mouth. We didn't ask where it came from and that dog enjoyed the new
chew toy. When Penwood tried to get a closer look at the hand, he
almost lost his.
Now, there's also a
very important woman you're all about to meet. Say hello to Jackie
Wells. A woman from 2094 that's come back in time to save the world.
Yes, you read those numbers right. Jackie's from the Wasted West
(which I wrote a review about, if you're interested). What's she
doing here? Well, let's get started.
Jackie tracked down the
posse the morning after their “heroic deeds” on what's now known
as Bloody Sunday. She explains who she is, where she's from, and that
she's after the Heart, too.
You see, what Stone is
going to do is take the Heart to the Devil's Tower in Dakota
Territory and create a Deadland. A chunk of the Hunting Grounds where
Manitous (read: demons) hold sway but, here, on earth. It won't be
completely in the Hunting Grounds, but it will mess things up for
miles and miles. And that'll cause the Sioux a whole bunch of
trouble. Bad for them, but good for the Reckoners. While I was having
this conversation with the players, I handed them Jackie's journal to
look at. It's written from her perspective and explains the basics of
the Deadlands: Hell On Earth setting. The basics are that in the late
2080s, war breaks out between the USA and CSA, as well as all over
the world. In addition to regular nukes, they throw around irradiated
Ghost Rock bombs. These not only create your normal issues with
radiation but they also create Deadlands where they land. This is the
apocalypse. It's the end times. And the Reckoners appear on earth.
Their names? War, Death, Famine, and Plague. That's right, the
Reckoners are the Four Horsemen. How's that for a bad trip?
But, it gets worse. How
can it get worse? Jackie fills them in that in the original timeline
(gotta love time travel), the Reckoners lost. The war never happened.
Fear, the thing that the Reckoners feed on, dropped and people lived
happily ever after. Except for one man. Former man, I guess. Stone.
One of the first Harrowed and willing servant of the Reckoners. Using
the last of their mojo, they sent him back in time. Not only to steal
the Heart and mess up the Sioux but, to be their enforcer. Imagine,
one of the meanest, toughest, and most powerful servants of evil in
the known world, but now there's two of him. One with the knowledge
of possible future events. And heroes. So, that's how they won. They
plugged everyone who would be a threat to them and made sure mankind
invented those Ghost Rock bombs. And the posse just helped them do
it.
To kick them while they
were down, I mentioned if they remembered the letters they received
all those weeks ago. I asked them who they thought sent them? That's
right, Old Pete. Or Old Stone, as “Peter” also means “Rock.”
He remembered that they had freed him the first time around and got
them together to help him. Yeah, I'm a big son of a bitch. But, it
worked. It got them riled up, so they were ready to take down Stone
and save the world. All over again...
Chapter Two: On The
Road Again
We return to our story
already in progress. Jackie points out that Stone, which one doesn’t
really matter, is going to take the Heart to the Devil’s Tower and
preform the ritual to make it the center of a Deadland. With this
knowledge, they get the Murder Bus (the laser armed steam wagon) up
and running and start chasing down Stone. Oh, and Phil and Dieter
were riding Velocipedes, too.
With the murder wagon
and other rides, the posse was able to catch up the train that Stone
had left town on. Yeah, if you’re familiar with the setting, you
might see the hand waving going on, as there’s no rail lines to LA
(yet) but they were itching to get started, so we just went with it.
And before you ask “Which Stone?” it’s the one with the Heart.
The other one doesn’t really matter in this adventure, so when I
refer to Stone, it’s the one that left LA with the Heart. Got it?
Good.
When the posse rolls up
on the train, which is barreling down the tracks, Stone knows that
they’re after him, so he tells some of the other folks on the train
that the Posse is a bunch of bandits, and everyone starts putting
lead in their direction. Penwood and Heinrich starting shooting back,
those mad doctors, while Dieter and Phil got as close as they could.
Using an ax, Phil was able to make a foothold, so he could climb off
his Velocipede and get on board the train, with Dieter not far
behind. Using some rope and dumb luck, the rest of the Posse was able
to hook onto the train (I honestly don’t remember how we did this)
and also got on board. There was tense moment when Stone grabbed a
woman and put a gun to her head. Somebody hit him and he let her go
but then goes all ghosty on them but Jackie is ready for this. She
puts a round through his shoulder and he falls through the train car
floor! With Stone now miles behind them, it isn’t hard to find the
Heart in his saddle bags and throw some money at people to be able to
stay on the train. How’s that for some action.
The Posse stays on the
train, and well ahead of Stone, all the way to the City O’ Gloom.
Now, they have a bit of a choice: They can turn the Heart in for the
reward from Hellstromme or they can help Jackie get the Heart to the
Devil’s Tower, through the portal into the Hunting Grounds, and
back to the future, where it might do some good. The Posse, bless
them, didn’t even blink an eye and said they’d help Jackie get
the Heart to the Devil’s Tower, without even asking for bit of
money. I have to say, I was proud of them, looking to actually do
some good. While the Posse had a certain amount of “moral
flexibility” they did the right thing here without even thinking
about it. And this was also where I introduced Nona “Cookie”
Calhoon, Phil’s “big” sister. I had her walk up behind him and
put her LeMat in his back. They’re a weird family. Now, I had a few
reasons for this: First, I wanted to expand a bit on Phil, as they
had started to like him. Second, I had come up with the idea for
Cookie and she was going to fill the gaps the Posse actually had, a
lack of investigation and magical whammy, so I thought it might be
good to have her in my “back pocket” so to speak. Third, I had
spoken with one of the other players and we had agreed that he was
going to take over the game when this adventure finished and, as much
I liked being Phil, I was kind of bored with him, as well as having
the Posse relying on him a bit too much. I did talk some more about
this in his Tale, you really should read it when you’re done with
this one.
Now, there’s one
matter of importance that faced the Posse, how the hell were they
going to get to the Devil’s Tower? There was talk of trying to
drive the Murder Bus through the Sioux Nations but that was rejected
after the cost was figured out. Too rich even for these rich
bastards. There was also some talk about doing to Deadwood and going
from there but that also didn’t look like a good option.
Thankfully, the folks over at Pinnacle included a nice option: A
massive Autogyro. Now, they complained about the cost of this
(seriously guys?) the adventure got underway. They had to pay extra
to make it to make it all the way to the Tower, as the owner didn’t
want to cause a problem with the Sioux as he wants to open a line to
Deadwood. The pilot, the daredevil he is, is willing to take them all
the way. This was the only the beginning of their troubles. Little
did they know what would be waiting for them when they got there…
You see, there were a
few things they could have run across, but since they came by air,
there was only one: Devil Bats. In the book, they say there’s four
of them up there but I only unleashed two. And they almost got Ming.
The dice were not on the side of the Posse that session, which was
rare. Plus, all the modifiers for shooting in what amounts to a
helicopter made out of balsa wood and bailing wire. Thankfully,
Carter McCormick (the pilot) was as good as he charged and was able
to keep them in the air. However, if it wasn’t for Phil’s
foresight (and one last lucky roll), Ming was caught before he could
become a pancake on the ground below.
After a successful, and
mercifully peaceful, landing, the Posse spread out, trying to find a
way in. After some searching, they found what is, in simple terms, a
flashlight. It’s a rubberized half globe that makes light when you
squeeze it. And fucking Penwood and Heinrich were OBSESSED with this
damn thing. I think they spent almost half an hour, real time,
letting the characters fiddle with it. I had to just say “It’s a
fucking flashlight, move on!” It was really slowing us down.
Finally, they found a tunnel into the tower. Of course, there were
some little beasties in there and they had to fight them as they
climbed down the ropes to enter the tower proper...
Chapter Three: A
History Forgotten
In the original
adventure, this chapter fills in the Marshal on the history of the
inhabitants of the Tower, called Crossbreeds. However, since the
whole history of them is complicated and our “heroes” didn’t
really get into it. Plus, it’s actually a really cool history and I
would encourage you to read it for yourself, if you’re a Marshal.
Instead, I’ll give you what you need to know so you can understand
just how stupid the Posse was…
So, the first thing we
need to discuss is who the Crossbreeds are. They’re human/alien
crossbreeds that had super advanced technology but have been trapped
in the Tower for a very, very long time. They’re also a dying race.
And they’ve lost a lot of technology but have enough around to be
extremely dangerous. As such, this isn’t an easy adventure as it’s
pretty much a dungeon crawl, using a system that doesn’t give you a
lot of healing and, because of the location, you can’t really
easily introduce new characters. I warned the Posse about that before
we started the next part of the adventure, and given how well they’d
done in The Rock, I thought they’d be able to handle it. Boy, was I
wrong.
Chapter Four: The
Fortress
We resumed our tale
already in progress. The Posse entered a massive garden, full of
plants. Of course, they had announced their arrival by dropping a
massive metal grate on the stone ground. This tipped off the
Crossbreeds that someone was there and I gave the Posse some time to
explore and think things through. It didn’t help. As they explored,
they ran across a Crossbreed child, and started calling the
Crossbreeds “Goblins,” so I’ll be calling them that from this
point on. Josephine, the character who was just tossed into the group
at this point, cast a Hex to detect magical energy and found a HUGE
source of it below them. Now, they should have known that this was
the portal to the Hunting Grounds that Jackie had told them about but
I guess they weren’t paying attention to it and it seemed to
distract the Posse. And then they made the worst possible choice…
So, they had this
Goblin child and they heard the sounds of boots coming up the stairs
from below. In their infinite wisdom, the Posse decided to go into
the one room, a storage room, and pretend like it was the Alamo. This
hurt me. I was trying to give them enough time to figure out a way to
hold off the Goblins or maybe ambush them as they arrived but, nope,
they were committed to hiding. I just couldn’t believe this. I
mean, yeah, I kind of get where they’re coming from, hiding might
work but I had tried to explain that they would have to be smarter
than the average bears. And hiding was, in my opinion, about the
worst thing they could have done. The only good thing was that they
didn’t hurt the Goblin child. That did help them in the next part.
Having been caught,
Penwood tried to negotiate their way out. Which, given how they were
invading this place, was another terrible idea. I just couldn’t
deal with it. I wanted to scream at the whole group for trying this
course of action. They were outnumbered about 10 to 1 and thought
that they could bluff their way out. I had to just break character
and flat out tell them that if they continued down the route they
were on, they were going to all be killed. I could have easily done
it, with the resources at my disposal, but I didn’t want to. I know
that some of you might be saying things like “well, it’s their
fault” or something along those lines but I would like point out
that, until this point, they had be competent and played their
characters really well. I didn’t want to do a Total Posse Kill just
because of one series of bad choices. So, I had to break it down for
them. If they surrendered, I would get them out of the situation, but
if they wanted to fight, they had almost no chance to survive.
Thankfully, they came to their senses and lay down their weapons.
After they surrendered,
they were taken to some cells and were set up to be more experiments.
If we had had more time, I would have done a lot of things with them.
Maybe I would have had Ming and Dieter be sent down to the train
area, to be hunted by the warriors of the Goblins, while Heinrich and
Penwood tried to figure out a way to escape or negotiate. But, we
didn’t have time. And I was a little thrown off by what had
happened. Instead, after a few hours, they were approached by one of
the Goblins, who had an offer for them. If they would wreck one of
the labs, which happened to be where all of their stuff was, he would
free them. They agreed. After a few more hours, the door was unlocked
and the guards were gone. They lived up to their end of the bargain,
trashing the lab after getting their stuff. Heinrich did some poking
around and found a Raygun that was in pieces. I did this for a few
reason, those being his high roll and the fact that he was working on
lasers. Plus, think of it as blessing from the Reckoners. Or should
it be a curse? Oh, and did I mention that Phil rigged the place to
blow? Because he totally did.
The Posse then began
making their way to the Portal. They did okay with the stealth part,
I think they actually learned their lesson from earlier. And I might
have suggested that the gloves were off from this point on. They’d
used up their one and only Get Out Of Jail Free card (literally) and
there would be no more. Carefully, they made their way to the Portal,
and saw the guards in place near it. They discussed what to do and
came up with an idea of a plan. Phil tossed out one of his “party
favors” I mean bundles of dynamite into the center of the room and
made things blow up really good. This didn’t kill the guards but it
made for a lot of chaos. Dieter and Heinrich were doing a good job of
killing, while Penwood and Ming held off the guards that were
starting to show up. Just as Jackie was charging up to the Portal,
that was when I let the other shoe drop. Or should I say Stone?
That’s right, that ornery bastard was back and he had a whole
skeleton to pick with the Posse. Things weren’t looking good but
everyone was doing their best. And that’s when the miracle
happened. Phil Ex Machina.
I’ve already told
this story once, so I won’t get into the details, but Phil could
have, SHOULD have, killed one of the Big Bads of the setting, a
direct servant of the Reckoners. With a lucky roll for Phil, and a
very poor one for Stone, he managed to land a stick of dynamite right
in the bastard’s mouth! Now, because I had plans for Stone, I let
him survive. How? Well, there’s a Harrowed power called Ghost,
which Stone can pretty much use for as long as he likes. So, what
happened was that when Stone knew he wasn’t going to survive the
explosion, he went all Ghost as the blastwave hit him. The force of
it carried him through the rock of the Tower and he ended up landing
somewhere outside. They would get him out of the fight but still
leave him around for some shenanigans later on.
With the way to the
Portal now clear, I took a moment to ask the Posse if they wanted to
join Jackie in the future. Everyone said no, they were enjoying the
game as it was. I have to admit, I was kind of disappointed, because
I liked the idea of Penwood and Heinrich learning to handle how much
they wouldn’t know about stuff in the future. Plus, there’s
another adventure that connects the Wasted West to the Way Out West
and I would have loved to have these jerks go from the Weird, to the
Wasted, and then all the way out to the Way Out West. Perhaps another
Posse will do it…
Anyway. I had something
else to do. As you might have noticed, the Posse was getting to
count of Phil too much. I knew it was time for him to go. So, with a
final salute to his friends, Phil jumped into the Portal right behind
Jackie, leaving the Posse to their own devices.
Ming’s player was
devastated. Phil had just saved his character’s life and he just…
Was stunned. I honestly think that he was mad at me. But, I also
wanted to play Cookie, so I thought it best to get rid of Phil. At
least for a while. The rest of the Posse was also a bit sad. Phil had
a good run. But, his story isn’t over quite yet…
And that was where
things ended. It was getting late and it was time to wrap things up.
Honestly, I didn’t want to deal with the escape part of the
adventure, so we just skipped it. Hand waving for the sake of saving
time is how we roll in these parts.
That said, there’s
one more adventure with these jerks. Stick around to read it. Oh, and
it’s when I got to play the game as Cookie.
Oh, and Happy Halloween!