Previously on Pathfinder...

So, I have my gaming group, right? And recently we switched to *Pathfinder* which is a refined form of D&D 3.5. It's been fun so far, as we know most of the rules, even if it's been a few years since most of us have played.

Last night, we had an interesting time. Jay, who's running the game, filled us in on the details. Two kingdoms are having a war using undead. One is using traditional magic to make an undead army, while the other is using alchemy. The war has expanded out from there and is consuming everything around it. After our characters escaped jail, we joined up with a band of Orcs and others we have survived the war. After the explanation, I pointed out that we're playing "High Fantasy *Walking Dead*". There's tons of undead, not under the control of necromancers, wandering around and attacking whatever they come across. So, fun times.

We (the group) get sent on a mission to go check out a city that may or may not have fallen to one of the necromancer factions. While traveling, a thunderstorm starts to form, so we start looking for shelter. You see, the undead get agitated when storms roll around and there's more storms because the gods are pissed because of this whole "undead war" thing going on. So, it makes sense to wait indoors while the storm happens. As the rain starts to fall, we find an abandoned farm house and start poking around. Being the suspicious sort (which is how you stay alive when there's zombies and other terrible types of undead just prancing around the countryside), we look everywhere. Outside, we find a root cellar that's been barred with a shovel. I nope the fuck out. I'm not opening the door. But, we do bang on it. Inside, the other guys hear sounds coming from below. But, we're not detecting any undead. Soon, we hear a sound of something in one of the rooms, coming from under a stack of boxes. Now, I didn't sleep much before the game, so I'm done with this low-budget horror movie stuff. Plus, I'm playing a Barbarian. So, I knock over the boxes. Rats. Rats everywhere. Okay, not *everywhere*, but a half dozen nasty looking rats. We start fighting them and find out that they're acidic. Yeah... No. After the Rogue getting blinded and stunned, I toss him out of the room and bar the door. Then, we *burn the farmhouse to the ground*. Because that's how you solve problems in D&D. That, and we were done with that bullshit. Of course, that ended up forming a herd of zombies and stuff, ala *The Walking Dead*, so we made a quick exit.

As we're traveling, we come across some zombies. Since we're smart, we took some spells to keep us hidden from them. And these guys are pretty nasty looking. They have sores and ooze stuff and just don't seem like something we want to fight. Turns out that the city we're heading towards was kind of a big deal with alchemy and tanning and other stuff, so the river was horribly polluted. And it looks like whatever was in the water is now in the undead and living things. There's talk of trying to light the river on fire and burn down the city. Then shift through the ashes for loot.

After a while, we come across an over turned wagon. There's some big, burly, hairy thing digging in it. Turns out to be an owlbear. We take it down and find some minor goodies in the wagon. And the wagon itself is in good shape. So, score. We stash the wagon, as we don't have any horses, and start moving towards the city we're suppose to check out.

As we reach the city, it's deserted. Nobody home. The walls have been melted by.... Something. Not good. We enter the city and it's still empty. There's an "unusual amount of spider webs" everywhere. Yeah... That made me really suspicious. Plus, I *hate* spiders. We look around. Phoenix and myself (okay, our characters) going poking around a cobbler's shop and score some boots. There, we come across a "oddly green" spider. No bigger than normal, but weird looking. Then, it starts acting "aggressive". Nope. Nope-nope-nope. I don't want to kill it, because something tells me that there's a bigger, meaner spider out there somewhere, and I really don't want to fight an acidic spider. Thankfully, Phoenix has the brilliant idea to "daze" it. Keep in mind, this is a regular sized (size of a quarter) spider. Meanwhile, Joe and Frank hit up a cloth maker's place and grab some bolts of stuff. They see some spiders, but they run away from the guys. We meet in the middle. At this point, I'm ready to go. There is something really wrong here, probably involving spiders, so I'm nope-ing the fuck out of the situation. I get overruled, and we go looking for some horses. Because, you know, there's got to some of those alive, right? These guys aren't the brightest bulbs. After a bit of searching, we find an inn with some stables and go check them out. There's tons of cobwebs in the place... And a horse, a *full-grown, big-ass fucking HORSE* cocooned in spider webs. Like, just wrapped up in them. I literally turn around and walk out. Phoenix and Joe want to see what's inside because they cast Detect Magic and know there's a magic item under all that spider web. I say, *"Fuck that. I'm not helping you with this"* and stand outside. After a minute, I kick Frank's character into the room. Because, why not? Anyway. Phoenix starts cutting through the webbing. Little spiders start *pouring* out of it. He doesn't get the message and starts cutting more. Then, a bigger spider, maybe fist-sized, jumps out and explodes on his arm. Explodes into acid. He backs up and just burns the fuck out of this horse corpse. More fist-sized spiders jump out, but he's immune to acid, so he's good. Eventually, he burns it all and scores us a magic longbow. Then, shit gets real...
There's a rumble and a tidal wave of spiders. All different shapes and sizes, but all that wrong-looking green color. Just waves of them. On the street. On the sides of the buildings. And they're coming towards us. I think I shit my pants a little. I tell everyone that we're leaving. Now. They come out of the stables and I cue this song:

https://youtu.be/ZnHmskwqCCQ

So, we're running down the streets of an empty city, I have a Halfing Rogue in one arm and a Dwarven Cleric over my shoulder, running with a Tiefling Sorcerer, while a tide of acidic, exploding spiders comes sweeping towards us. And that song is playing.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to playing D&D...

After getting away from the spiders, we realize that they left the melting marks on the side of the city walls and we just check out. We throw our loot in the wagon and push the wagon back to the horde. We talk our way out of getting kicked out, plus, you know, we did bring a wagon and some other stuff. But, it was one of those weird nights...

We'll see what happens next month...