Mission: Kill the Head
Region: Shitlands
Optional rules: None
As this was my first game of SpineSpur and I was teaching the game to two of my gaming group, I tried to keep it pretty simple, which meant only 100 points. I had put together a half-assed "Sewer" board made with Dollar Tree foamcore and a pen. The good news is it cost $6 (including the knife I picked up to cut the foam with), but because the foamcore wasn't cut straight when I bought it, it looks a bit wonky.
Forces:
GOD - 100
Aniel
Warriors (x2)
Fists (x2)
Dark Faith - 100
Anti-Pope
Sisters (x2)
Torn (x3)
Thug: Molotov
"Kitchen Sink" - 99
Billy Burns
Hack
Thugs: Bludgeoning (x2)
Thug: Molotov
As you can see, I took each list in a different direction but made sure I could play any of them. As I am a (fairly) nice guy, I let people pick which list they wanted to play and ended up with the Dark Faith list. I was wary of using the Anti-Pope in such a small battle, but I wanted to use my painted models, and only Billy wasn't painted. It was really great to see all of the models I'd spent many hours working on in action. Sadly, the Anti-Pope's staff snapped off when I was taking him out of my figure case (from the Reaper Bones Kickstarter). I knew it was going to happen, it just ended up being today.
Deployment:
Jay, the person playing the GOD force won the roll for deployment and started by scattering his men around, while Linus, playing the Kitchen Sink force, deployed in a corner. That forced me to split my forces, sending a small group down the back corridor to either slow down Hack or come around from the rear of the big fight I was expecting.
The Battle:
I'm not going to go into a turn-by-turn report, but instead just sum up how things progressed. Jay and Linus played things cautiously, with the GOD force trying to consolidate into a cohesive force, while the Thugs and Hack looked around for something to kill. The Thugs made a bad call when they when after my Sisters, who promptly took one down by teaming up on him, which was followed by the Anti-Pope making him another undead minion. When that happened, all hell broke loose. The forces of GOD and Billy's goons realized that the dude in the funny hat was Very Bad News, and set aside their differences to bash his face in. In short order, I lost my Sisters, just about every Torn I had (including two I raised) and was trapped between Hack and a hard place... I mean, Hack and a Fist of GOD. I had ended up culling the soul of one of the Sisters, as she was down to one Health and the Anti-Pope needed to protect himself from the assault. In was alright in the end, as she rose again as a Torn, and did some damage to Hack. The best moment in the game for me came when a Thug foolishly stopped on top of a Torn corpse. Being of no use for the feared Curse of Undeath, it was time to blow something up! The Anti-Pope's Exploding Dead Guy of Doom was also close enough to damage Hack... For pathetic 3 damage.
Eventually, the Anti-Pope couldn't keep dodging and ended up torn apart by Hack's chainsaw. Now, I got to sit back and watch the former allies turn on one another, while my few surviving Torn and lone Molotov Thug made their way through the long, lonely corridor. Shortly after they arrived on the scene, they were cut down, too. Soon, the forces of GOD were firing at anyone they could see, and the Fist who had worked with Hack to beat the Anti-Pope now changed the maniac and punched his mask off. Soon, it was just little Billy Burns and all of the GOD men left. After a swift battle, during which Aniel's men finally took the first and only loss of the game to Billy's Inferno Tantrum, the
Victory: Men of GOD!
Lessons learned -
1. Never let the Anti-Pope get separated from the rest of the force, even if that means falling back
2. Don't split your forces
3. Never underestimate a little kid with the power to set you on fire with his mind
I had a lot of fun playing the game, even if I lost. In fact, I had more fun playing this game than I ever did playing 40k.
If things go right, I'll be getting in another game next weekend. Hopefully, with a few changes in the list and maybe even with another player for a 4-way clusterfuck!
